The Acid Quiz


Well, if he's taking it himself, I guess I may as well.

1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?

Clint Eastwood. I hope I'm as cool as he is when I'm old. James Earl Jones is a very close second.

2. What is your favorite book of all time and what made it so fucking good?

The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan. It's the second book in his Wheel of Time series, which is the best fantasy series I've ever put my eyes to. Why's it so great? As he would say, Read and Find Out.

3. What does “diversity” mean to you?

New York City.

4. What is the wildest thing you’ve ever done?

Jumped over a 30 foot ravine on a dirt bike after being dared to do so. The invincibility of Childhood was a gas.

5. Do you regret doing it?

No, and I'd do it again.

6. Can you drive a stick shift?

I've never owned a vehicle with an automatic transmission, nor will I. If I lose a leg, I'll get one of those paddle-shift jobs from Ferrari.

7. What’s the highest speed you ever traveled in a car?

Buried the needle in a Supra Turbo, which is a hair under 200mph.

8. Were you driving, or riding at the time?

Driving, as usual.

9. Which is better: snakes or spiders?

Spiders, assuming we're not talking about those nasty ones down in Australia that can kill you in 3.2 seconds.

10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?

Some screwed up organic soy pseudo-tuna sandwich in California. It tasted like very old seaweed wrapped around lab culture jelly. It also cost about the same as a slab of Prime Rib in NYC.

11. Have you ever shit your pants? Be HONEST!

Almost, when jumping out of an airplane for the first time, but no.

12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?

Can I get a hell yeah?

13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?

Go ahead. Outlaw it. Wouldn't be the first law I've broken.

14. Name one man with a fine ass.

Me, after doing a 20 mile bike race down the side of a mountain. Legs weren't bad either.

15. Do you watch golf on television? If not, will you iron my shirts?

No, and no. I haven't played golf in ten years.

16. Who is Martha Burk?

Hell if I know.

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I'd say to become less trusting, but after being screwed on a rather large business deal, that's taken care of itself.

18. Do you eat raw oysters?

Can I get another hell yeah?

19. Are you claustrophobic?

Not especially, but I wouldn't enjoy getting stuck in an air vent or something.

20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn‘t have to?

I do, and I always will. If I darwin myself, it's going to be doing something a hell of a lot more impressive than getting cut off by a bluehair.

21. Name five great Presidents.

Washington, Jefferson, Lincon, Reagan, and quite possibly George W. Bush. Give me another four years to make that call.

22. Name three shitty Presidents.

Carter, Clinton, and Clinton. Yes, he gets two, he was that pathetic.

23. Now call me fanny and slap my ass. Just kidding.

Only if you cut me off in traffic.

24. This is the 4th of July. Did you set off any fireworks?

Yup, then I went and watched the Macy's show from the FDR with a million or so of my neighbors. Then I got bloody smashed.

25. If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?

Probably George Washington.

posted by Mr. Lion | 07/05/03 @ 13:35 | comments (3)