Self defense and children.
Sheila has a post dealing with what I consider to be a very important topic: Teaching children to protect themselves.
There are two invariable truths on this subject: First, there are a lot of sick freaks out there just waiting to do god knows what to small children, and second, protecting a child's innocence is not worth risking their safety.
Now, I had the benefit of being brought up in a military family, which meant lots of "uncles" around teaching young kids (me) how to shatter someone's neck with a rice cake, and such like. As a result of such instruction, chiefly from my father, my folks never worried about me taking off into the woods and such like, even when quite young.
The confidence a parent installs in their children when they teach them how to defend themselves is second only to that which they achieve for themselves, knowing that their kids are going to be safe in all but the most drastic situations.
As such, a few suggestions for any parent who is concerned about such things. And, if you aren't, you should be.
First, and most importantly, your child should be apprehensive towards strangers. They should know that there's a difference between mom, dad and the neighbors and some person they've never seen before. Kids should be taught never to accept gifts of any kind, nor follow or accompany someone they don't know. It's a simple enough concept, and most parents think they get this right, but in reality very few do.
The best way to teach this concept is, ultimately, to set your kids up. Ask a friend or relative who the child(ren) do not know to attempt to lure them with gifts or sweets, or what have you. If your kid goes with them, or does anything other than run screaming for you, you have failed to instruct them properly. However, you will have brought the subject foremost into their mind, so that would be the time to reiterate the lesson and make sure it sticks.
There are, however, situations in modern life in which you may need to entrust your child to someone they may not know or remember. In this case, it is a good idea to develop a "code word" with your kids which will let them know that someone is "safe". It should be something known only to them and you, and not something obvious. The name of a pet or the street on which you live are not good choices. Neither is anything which could be casually observed or made obvious. It should be a word or phrase that is fairly obscure, but that is well known to the child so that they will remember it. I recommend the name of an actor in their favorite TV show, and note that I mean the actor's name, not the character they play.
Secondly, you must prepare for when everything goes wrong, and your kids either forget what they have been taught, or are set upon by someone who grabs them and heads for the door. You should make it clear that should anything they are not comfortable with take place, that it is okay to scream, kick, hit, bite, and otherwise draw as much attention to themselves as possible. This is the "car alarm" tactic. A shifty character attempting to drag a child out of a supermarket while they're wailing at the top of their lungs and latched on to a hand rail will get noticed.
It's difficult as a parent to teach a child, especially a young child, when it is okay to scream their head off and when it is not. Again, setting them up is a good way to test this mechanism. Have a friend or family member toss on a ski mask, grab them out of the yard, and head for the car. If your kid proceeds to start the first offensive of World War III, you have succeeded.
Finally, and while I realize this is a potentially sensitive subject for some, your children should know how to inflict pain on someone much larger and stronger than they are. While care should be taken to ensure that they know when it is okay to strike out in such a fashion, and when it is not, the knowledge of being able to do so, especially when scared out of their wits, is extremely important.
At a basic level, children should know that well placed kicks will cause a rather large amount of pain for adult males. They should know that the second best place to strike is an attacker's face, especially their eyes. It is difficult to teach children, especially young children when such actions are called for, but if your child is old enough to be walking around on their own without your direct supervision, they are old enough to handle this knowledge.
A very good way to teach not only the mechanics of self defense, but also the discipline required to know when not to use it, is to enroll your child in a martial arts school of some sort. Check the yellow pages, visit a few schools, and chances are almost all of them will have a program for children of almost all ages.
Children, once able to handle a degree of responsibility, should also be introduced to weapons at some level. I find the age range varies between eight and twelve for this, but it typically is somewhere around ten. Chances are most children, especially boys, will take to air guns and small caliber rifles like ducks to water. While some may disagree, teaching children to understand, and above all respect the use of firearms is an imperative skill to give them.
A child who knows that every gun is a loaded gun will not pick one up and shoot someone out of ignorance. A child who knows that there will be hell to pay if they handle a weapon in an unsafe manner will generally not do so. A child who knows what guns are and how to handle them will not be afriad of them, and that is possibly the most important lesson anyone can teach.
A lot of people boo-hoo about destroying a child's innocence by teaching them at an early age that there are bad people in the world who want to hurt them. The reality, however, is that unless you plan on raising your children in a glass bubble with a leash attached until they're in their teens, they will run into that plain and simple fact to some degree in their lives.
It's much better, I think, that they know how to handle it. After all, it is much better to risk your child decking Grandpa Bob accidentally than it is to live with the possibility of them being "found".
posted by Mr. Lion
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11:59 hours | comments
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